I Wish It Was “Spring” Forever

As we get closer to these cold/dark months I hope that those who may get a little “darker” than most have prepared themselves for what’s ahead. Going into the next season of the year reminds me of seasons in our lives that stop through but are never meant to stay forever. If you look at your life the same way, you are not the same person you were in a different season and that’s ok. That season served its purpose to POSITION you into where you are currently standing; good or bad.
Take a look back at the last season of your life and look at where you are now. There never really is a negative outcome, more so an unexpected outcome that you probably would never have experienced if you continued to wear your scarf and gloves on the beach on an uncharted island. You got to go with the flow because no matter what you will always grow through what you go through in some way shape or form.
I write this quick passage because I feel like this year for a lot of people around me has been about transitions. We may not understand in the beginning when we are unlearning the past and discovering the new at the same time but eventually, it all makes sense. Just try not to fight things that don’t flow naturally even if they once did before, notice the season change, and adjust your wardrobe (if you know what I mean). I think my little play on words is an interesting way to encourage whoever comes across this blog entry. Enjoy this next season, “dress appropriately.”

~ The Mouthy Introvert

It is ok to say No

Some things you just have to learn to be ok with saying No to. Even when it’s hard and it hurts you just have to say no.

There is a certain power in saying No, it gives back the power that watever situation takes from you and allows you to choose yourself.

A lot of the times we are stretched too thin is because we didn’t say No. we chose yes because we feared what we would miss out and at the same time we block our blessings when we continue to say yes to things that just aren’t working. Some things may align with your interests but ask yourself does it truly align with your purpose?

Me personally, it feels good to be the one who can take on it all but at what cost? The cost of my mental health, stability and clarity are worth more to me than saying yes! I am learning to step away from things to let them play out on their own. As hard as it can be sometimes that hurt that you feel saying no is a part of the growth that you will experience by choosing you.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder and it also clears the smoke in your head for you to think more clear. Just say no, you will thank yourself later. I promise there is positivity in every negative situation you just gotta look for it.

Moonwalking on the 3rd Rock

Small but mighty, Mercury is doing a number on me this week

So I thought I was prepared, knowing all that Mercury Retrograde brings but boy was I mistaken! I think I just may become a mute until this all blows over because every time I open my mouth shit doesn’t go well. But enough of the pity party! These disturbances in my life are clearly signaling me to slow down and analyze my interactions with people and myself. If we slow down and listen to the little voice that is drowned out by the chaos in our lives we will hear it telling us that ” it’s ok, I am trying to help.” Instead we let these disturbances get so loud that we cant hear anything but the problems and misfortunes in our lives, they take a front seat to everything that we have going on that is positive and the black cloud weighs heavy down over our heads.

When it feels like your back is up against a wall and there is no way out of the feelings that you may have, don’t think of the wall as “no way out” think of the wall as extra “support” that you need to get through these obstacles. We are not here to suffer from our own misfortunes, the world doesn’t love us enough already. Why add to it?

Hold Steady

Escaping your problems buys you time. Solving your problems buys you freedom. You’ve all heard of the “fight or flight” response. At times we just want to run away, just for a moment of peace and tranquility. Those problems that we run away from tend to find their way back.

One of the most uncomfortable things that I have had to do for self growth was to sit in my problems. Yes, sit in them. I no longer wanted to run away from the negative aspects of myself/life. I got tired of the same things happening again like someone was pressing replay and I still wasn’t learning although I was very familiar with the outcome. I am a work in progress. But I have chosen to focus on growth not perfection. I am not done with me yet.

Mercury Retrograde you are shedding light on my past that still needs a solution. My freedom is worth it. I’m tired of being on borrowed time.

~ The Mouthy Introvert

The Common Denominator

Take a closer look, you are probably the problem.

Ok I know yall read that and thought ” why is she cursing at me” but hear me out. The patterns and habits that we tend to hold onto usually gets us into the same predicaments way too often. It is a hard pill to swallow but we need to take a look at the “Common Denominator” and take a step in changing the narrative.

It can’t be me

When we are not in ideal situations we tend to blame outside factors. Taking responsibility for negative aspects of your life is super uncomfortable, especially when they seem to happen so often. We complain when things aren’t going well but a lot of the times we don’t take action when most, if not all of us are capable of unloading the weight of the world from our shoulders with self examination.

Taking that hard look at yourself can really make you question your whole identity, like who the hell is this persona and why am I so fucked up? but that’s the first step in fixing the problem.

I DON’T WANNA GROW UP!

Remember how easy it was as a kid? You didn’t have these types of problems with identity as much as you do now as an adult. Can someone TAKE ME BACK!? Just think, its Saturday morning and your show is on and you are sitting in front of the T.V. with a bowl of cereal living your best life. AHHH what a time! Fast forward to today you are fumbling your keys and bag trying to get out the door to get to work on time because you stayed up too late knowing you need 7-8 hours to function and this is your 2nd time being late this week and that is not a good look.

Easy fix because…..

Its YOU who could go to sleep at a decent time

Its YOU who can wake up earlier

Its YOU who could have your coffee at work not on the way

Its YOU who could have put your bag in the car last night

Its YOU who can do better with time management

Its YOU… yea I said it, ITS YOU!

I know all of your problems may not be as simple as better time management. No matter what problems you may have, start to ask yourself how have you contributed to this issue. Get uncomfortable with yourself and you will see changes happen. Just do the work.

~ The Mouthy Introvert

Some Shit You Just Can’t Shake

When holding on doesn't serve you and being codependent damages your view of self.

Let that shit go

I get it you were hurt, betrayed, mislead or what ever other feelings you experienced during a hurtful time but at some point you have to detach from those feelings and move forward. Yea, it happened but at the end of the day you cannot change the past and you are in charge of your future so how you gonna act?

I am speaking to others who have been through shit that shakes the foundation that they have been comfortably living on. Ok let’s be real, I’m speaking to my damn self as well. To be completely honest, the shit sucks. But it is what it is, sometimes the things that you want so desperately to get OVER, you have to get THROUGH. But either way, going forward is the best thing to do.

Redirection

Energy can change the way that you look and feel about certain aspects of your life. Now, in no way am I saying ignore how you feel because that is no way to heal. I’m only suggesting to invest your energy into something that is going to contribute to YOUR own growth. I get into my own head sometimes and everything stops. Now I know I’m no mathematician but that doesn’t add up to helping me grow as an individual much does it? No, it is only hindering my growth, and slowing my process towards a “recovered” self. This is an entire process of ups and downs but consistency and drive can only allow good things to come to you. Change is inevitable when trying to move forward. It is the stimulus to growth. Keep working towards healing and you will grow throughout the entire process.

Fix Your Mindset

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. I know you have heard of this saying before but have you really thought about this on a mental level. If you have the same mindset you will constantly find yourself back in the same predicaments that cause you so much distress. Doing the same thing and expecting the same results is INSANITY!! It is time for you to take the necessary steps to become the version of yourself that overcomes the struggles of your past and progresses positively through the struggles of your present to create a better future for yourself.

~ The Mouthy Introvert

The Year of Application

A lot of people speak about “if you didn’t find your grind in 2020 then you don’t have it.” I don’t necessarily agree, 2020 was rough, even for those who did grind it out. I didn’t write a damn thing on New Year’s Day, I took that time to reflect and today, I got some shit to say.

This year is a year of application for me. 2020 was a year of growth and development. So now it’s time to apply. I’m not ashamed of the slacker in me, but I know if I want to make my life into what I know it can be, all that slacking shit gotta go out the window. I was completely honest with myself when I set my intentions for this year and that’s exactly what most people shy away from. Nah, call yourself out on the bullshit that’s the only way you will be able to improve on the things that you are not the best at.

It’s cliche to say but if it was easy, everybody would be successful. That’s probably why it’s so hard, this shit not for everybody. Pushing yourself and being disciplined in life is another full time job. But being able to recognize your strengths and weaknesses in your life and play on those things ultimately is the only way that you can be a better version of yourself.

For 2021, don’t limit that to being your year. Claim this year as the beginning of endless possibilities. You are responsible for you success. So boss up and make some shit happen.

Destination Addiction

I feel like I’m never satisfied! like I need more and more from the outside, goal after goal I. JUST. NEED. MORE. I ask myself, am I even thankful for what I have accomplished and where I am now? I’m always looking ahead never present in the current moment.

This has been my downfall over the years. Looking for gratification from outside sources or accomplishments is never the way to feel proud of oneself. Maybe internally I’m truly not happy with myself which is why I keep falling into the same cycle. Its crazy because this time last year I wasn’t on the level that I am on now and it’s almost as if I don’t even appreciate that growth. Like damn what more can I ask for? I’ve grown mentally, emotionally, physically and financially! I have really upgraded myself.

It’s crazy how not seeing your self worth effects so many things outside of dating and relationships. I never knew that these things existed in myself like they do. Sometimes it takes an outside person to remind you every now and then what you are to the world. But, at the same time, you as an individual needs to be able to remind yourself that you are on some boss shit!

I truly appreciate the people I have in my life that refuse to let me fail. People that believe in me more than I believe in myself at times and that want to see me win. I have started to look at me and my truth. I haven’t fully committed to the fact that I legit can do anything but thinking back, anything that I was passionate about that I really wanted to happen, has happened for me in some way shape or form so why am I tripping? I am better than what I have allowed myself to be, I am better than my own two eyes can see.

I’m way better than I use to be but I still got some work to do.

~ The Mouthy Introvert

When normal isn’t normal anymore

Loss hits everybody differently. We get use to a certain way of living and when that changes it’s hard to adjust. This past year I have experienced loss, but I chose to look a things differently (glass half full). The losses that I have experienced have allowed me to refocus and align my life properly which has opened doors for growth for me as a person, as a mom and in my career. Let’s face It change isn’t easy but change is necessary.

Some changes we have to make will alter the plans that we may have for our lives. Unexpected changes in my opinion are signals for you to change some things that you have tried to ignore. There has been a lot of death in 2020. None that effect me directly but all show a loss and sometimes we just don’t understand why things are taken from us so suddenly. Is it to make us learn to value what we have already in front of us before its too late? I think so and we all should take time to sit and listen and observe to be more aware of the changes that need to be made in our own lives.

I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason although we may not understand the reasons behind tragic events, God has a purpose for everything that he puts us through. I write this to say let go of grudges let go of past hurt because you never know when your time or a loved ones time is up and you won’t have the opportunity to make peace with those people. I’m speaking to myself and I’m speaking to others when it comes to grudges. There’s no need to hold onto them; hold onto the people that have been an important part of your life no matter if they’re no longer a part of your life anymore the least u can do is release the hurt and pain that person may have caused you and have a clear conscience.

~ The Mouthy Introvert

“If Yo Girl Only Knew”

You ever fell in love and you thought that this man couldn’t do any wrong, that this man was the one or that he would be everything that was missing from your life? But that one time that this man didn’t make you feel like the queen that you were, he lied,he played games and he crushed all of the visions of potential that those rose-colored glasses showed you. How would you feel if love lied to you? If you were painted a picture that really didn’t exist?

Some of us women excuse me , girls are out here trying to put a Band-Aid on open heart surgery! We are forgiving the same person and expecting something different and getting the same thing and believing him when he says he changed. But at the end of the day he is still that liar, he is still that manipulator that you still chose to believe and to give another chance. When it’s all said and done, you’re the one left picking up the pieces of your broken heart by yourself. As women we need to take better care of our emotional health, and this is definitely not the way to do it.

Most of you who will read this can guess why I feel that I can speak on this subject so fluently but, I’m not gonna get into all of that. This post isn’t about me or the lies that I’ve been told. This post is to encourage females out there to raise those rose colored glasses and see people for exactly who they are and what they show you that they can be.

There is always a pattern in behavior but the problem is, you’re not always aware of it, especially in the beginning. But when you’re finally fed up, and have allowed yourself time to grieve and process, you really start to uncover some fucked up shit. You start to really understand what the fuck just happened in your life. You are able to make sense of the hurt that you feel and that allows you to forgive yourself for some of things that you let happen. Ladies just know that you are not the problem! Your mindset is!

Our mindset often puts us into positions that ultimately end in disappointment. I know it’s February and it’s the month of “love” but lets do better as people in this world of dating. Let’s start to be upfront and open about our intentions and save the world from some heart ache. The lies will only create a distorted reality for those you truly care about and that itself is enough punishment. So Fellas, just ask yourself what Aliyah said in that bomb song of hers.

  1. Disclaimer- Ladies you aren’t innocent but, we not talking about us right now LOL!

~ The Mouthy Introvert

Protect Your Energy

Energy can go a long way. You can allow yourself to be filled with positive or negative energy It’s pretty much your choice of what type of energy you give off. Now when it comes to other people, well that’s a different story.

Matching energy can be tricky. What I mean by this is meeting people where they are with you. Now it may seem like exactly the taste of medicine someone needs but at the same time a bit counterproductive if you are trying to protect your own energy or grow as a person out of your petty ways.

But let’s face it, some people need that same energy back. My only question is how can I give the same energy back to someone and still maintain the energy that I let flow within myself. I personally have a hard time giving the same energy and not letting it effect my inner energy. I’m kinda like an all or nothing type of person so pretty much FUCK EVERYTHING LOL!

We all have been taught the “Golden Rule” mentality but, there are times where people need to get the same type of energy they give out. It may help them realize they need to check themselves before they wreck themselves LOL!

~The Mouthy Introvert